


something blue

by kogaritsu



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Implied Sexual Content, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Post-Canon, bday fic from last year, this is like 5-6 years post canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25441402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kogaritsu/pseuds/kogaritsu
Summary: “Home? Your name isn’t on the lease, freeloader.” There was a hint of laughter in Izumi’s voice, “Even if you built all the furniture.”“Not the apartment, smartass,” Kaoru rested his cheek on Izumi’s shoulder, closing his eyes again and breathing in the mix of his soap and cologne, “You’re my home.”
Relationships: Hakaze Kaoru/Sena Izumi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 32





	something blue

**Author's Note:**

> kaoizu live in my brain rent free

Kaoru hated flying. Planes were always cramped, and Italy was so far away, and Rei was always busy when Izumi was free to have visitors, and he always hit his head on the overhead lights no matter how nice the plane was. Plus his bag was always too heavy because Izumi was a sweatshirt hog and Hanami and her kids always sent presents. At least his dad had the decency to keep the gifts light and, for the most part, of the card variety. Hisashi sent nothing but his love, buried in paperwork to his chin. Personally, Kaoru liked him best these days, preferring the silent support over the embarrassment of correcting his niece and nephews that Izumi was not, in fact, their uncle. Not that it ever worked, judging by the coloring sheets addressed to “Uncle Izumi” carefully tucked between his nice shirts to keep them from wrinkling too badly. Izumi always complained that they looked bad on his fridge when they got too wrinkled.

Sitting on a plane alone was never fun, and Kaoru hated it even more than he hated sitting next to Koga, who kicked his feet and tapped on his arm rests the entire time. Flying to France with him was a nightmare beyond imagination, but at least he was cute when he was asleep. Adonis was too stiff, not fun at all. Honestly, Rei was the only one that was good at flying, but that was out of practice, and Kaoru knew it wasn’t something he wanted to be praised for. The record showed that he was a great head rest and an even better travel partner, though. 

As the plane landed, turbulently, because that’s just how it had to be, Kaoru outlined the heated text message he was going to send Rei when he was free. It was _his_ birthday and he was free to go on an expedition to dig up rocks in some distant country with his boyfriend if he really wanted to, yeah. But what kind of best friend would make Kaoru fly to Italy all by his lonesome for the third time since February? A bad one. And Rei was gonna hear all about it, probably with a lot of emojis and swear words. Not to mention, Kaoru’s birthday was coming up too, and he didn’t deserve to sit in an uncomfortable plane seat all alone so close to his birthday.

Sending bad vibes to Rei all the way in Peru (or was it Portugal?) didn’t do much for morale, though, because Kaoru was still about to vomit up his most recent meal. The sun was peeking through the window shade and they were beginning to slow down, so he was hopeful that he’d be able to squeeze Izumi like a stress ball within the next two hours. Of course, he’d have to catch him first, which was honestly half of the fun. Something told him that it’d be easy to catch him, though; it always was when they were apart for longer than a month. His heart squeezed in his chest at the thought, with both excitement and a sense of yearning.

Customs and immigration was fun as always, but it was nothing Kaoru wasn’t used to considering how often he visited. In fact, it went rather fast once he got moving, a blur in comparison to the vile flight he’d had to suffer. It was all worth it to see Izumi, though, especially after waiting three months for a break in UNDEAD related activities. He only wished it was a coincidence that his break began right before both of their birthdays. A chance to see Izumi was a chance to see him, though, and Kaoru had always liked to see him cheating on his diet for birthday cake.

His grip on the handle of his suitcase was so tight his hand was cramping, but he couldn’t help it, restless energy externalizing. The airport was very crowded, and Izumi wasn’t all that tall, so it was a scavenger hunt to find him among the crowd. Kaoru was good at finding him after so many years, catching sight of him from the top of the escalator. The internal battle to not run to him like they’d been separated by war was a bloody one, but he persevered to ride the escalator down and walk like a civilized human being to see his boyfriend. 

Izumi was dressed nicely, clearly fresh out of work and ready to be home. Kaoru couldn’t bear to make him wait, shifting into a speed walk to get to him a little faster, though with all the people around, it didn’t do much. He smiled when he saw Kaoru, a tender thing that jerked into a teasing smirk when he caught sight of the blooming bruise under his bangs. It was a shame that Kaoru liked him so much, because that was never a good look for him to have, especially when looking at a contusion within reach.

“Nice goose egg.” Izumi reached up, and with the strength of someone that played tennis for all of his high school career, flicked the discolored bump on Kaoru’s forehead.

“Ow! So mean, Izu-chan,” Pouncing like a cougar on a doe, he went in for as tight a hug as he could get away with.

Izumi, to his credit, just laid his fist into Kaoru’s side, making him yelp like a puppy, “Careful, your engagement ring’s in there!”

“Liar.” Izumi concluded after clawing at the inside of Kaoru’s pocket like a dog digging up a bone, “Not surprised, though, you make that joke every fucking time you visit.”

“Mhmm, gotta keep you on your toes,” Kaoru tried again, and slung an arm around his shoulders, dipping his head down enough to the kiss Izumi’s crown, fingers unintentionally tightening on his jacket sleeve, “I missed you, by the way.”

“Really? You only told me a thousand times.” Instead of shrugging his arm off like he would have a few years prior, Izumi leaned into Kaoru’s side, tucking a hand into his back pocket.

With his free hand, Kaoru dragged his suitcase behind them, carry-on swinging against his back as they approached the exit. Italy was gorgeous at dusk, but not beautiful enough to hold his attention when Izumi was right there, warm and practically buzzing with energy. The walk to the car felt simultaneously seconds and centuries long, and his suitcase felt heavier with every step they took. Izumi beared the burden of packing Kaoru’s luggage in the back, complaining the entire time. 

“I missed you, too, by the way.” He opened the car door for Kaoru as well, ever the gentleman, “My new apartment’s a lot bigger without you there with me.”

Kaoru didn’t reply, buckling his seatbelt before Izumi got the chance to nag him about it. The car roared to life underneath them, warm air blowing from the vents. The sun fell lower in the sky as Izumi’s left hand descended upon Kaoru’s knee, warm through the denim of his jeans.

\---

Kaoru didn’t mean to fall asleep on the way to Izumi’s apartment, but he did, slumped against his door with his head at an odd angle and arm twisted up in the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He woke up in the parking lot to his hair being smoothed away from his face, leaning into Izumi’s hand like a neglected housecat. Finely manicured nails scratched lightly at his scalp for a moment, then Izumi wasn’t touching him anymore, switching off the radio instead. Stretching his arms and listening to his elbows crack, Kaoru yawned big enough to get his jaw to crack too.

“At least get up long enough to go to bed,” Izumi turned off the car and got out without giving Kaoru a second look. 

Kaoru made it out of the car, barely, flopping against Izumi’s back as he hefted the luggage out of the trunk. Cold air nipped at his exposed skin, tempting him to challenge the set rules of their relationship. Ignoring the fact that they were still outside and technically in public, he kissed the exposed skin under Izumi’s right ear, murmuring about how happy he was to be home. At first the affection was rejected, half heartedly pushed away with a roll of his shoulders. 

“Home? Your name isn’t on the lease, freeloader.” There was a hint of laughter in Izumi’s voice, “Even if you built all the furniture.”

“Not the apartment, smartass,” Kaoru rested his cheek on Izumi’s shoulder, closing his eyes again and breathing in the mix of his soap and cologne, “You’re my home.”

Izumi’s tongue tied itself in a knot, heavy against the roof of his mouth. He inhaled shakily, determined not to break down where people he wasn’t in love with could see him cry and sniffle. It wasn’t worth it to fight though, so he pretended to be unaffected, turning Kaoru’s luggage in circles to waste time. Anything to make the moment last just a little bit longer.

The moment wouldn’t last, though, because they were both in the public eye and a public relationship didn’t mean they could flaunt it as much as they wanted. He allowed one more minute of PDA, counting the seconds as if it’d make said minute feel longer.

“Get off, or carry your bags yourself. I’m not dragging both of you up the stairs.” Izumi used the trunk’s hatch to get enough leverage to shoulder check Kaoru in the mouth.

“Oh, baby, you’re so cute.” Kaoru kissed the side of his neck again before he nudged Izumi out of the way, reaching into the trunk for his bags.

There weren’t so many stairs the last time he visited, Kaoru was sure of it; sure enough that he mentioned it while juggling all of his luggage as Izumi unlocked the door. Izumi, of course, ignored his complaints, opening the door and shooing him inside. His bags found themselves a home by the door, left for him to deal with after a shower and a good night’s sleep. He left his shoes at the door mat and his jacket on the rack, prepared to crawl right into Izumi’s bed as soon as he was allowed.

But then Izumi was backing him against the back of the couch, clinging to the front of his shirt like Kaoru would run away if he let go. He kissed him, again and again and again, like breathing was a choice that he could abstain from. They separated a few times, gasping for air and pushing against each other like they were torn between overstimulation and touch starvation. Izumi’s hands wandered like they were trying to refresh his memory, feeling the curve of Kaoru’s ribs, the jut of his clavicle, the bend of his fingers. They settled on Kaoru’s hips, fingers sharp and desperate against his hip bones, nails too short to make it past the barrier of his clothes.

It hadn’t been _that_ long since they’d seen each other, but a few months felt like a million year without someone to wake up to. Getting used to hearing ‘I love you’ before work was a grave mistake that made coming home to an empty apartment feel like being abandoned all over again. Childish, maybe, but Izumi was serious when he mentioned how big his apartment was all alone. Even the coldest people need a flame to warm over, after all.

Kaoru wasn’t entirely sure when the emotional dam broke, but they were both crying when he came back to Earth. Izumi’s lips were kiss swollen and eyes were red when he stopped to inhale on a shudder, breath hot against Kaoru’s wrist when he turned to kiss it instead. Their fingers were intertwined, Izumi’s palm to the back of Kaoru’s hand, and despite the cold of the apartment, they were both warm. Izumi’s tongue traced the faded scar from when Kaoru tripped into his glass table, reminiscing on how tightly their hands were held when he got stitches.

“Don’t leave this time.” He murmured, both meaning it and not, chest wound tight and vision smeared like oil paint.

“I won’t.” Kaoru promised, fingers crossed out of sight.

\---

Sleep walked hand-in-hand with bone deep exhaustion, some from traveling, some from waiting, and some from celebrating. And sleep frequently brought dreams along, plaguing Izumi’s mind with fractured memories of the day he first parted from Kaoru.

~~~

_Izumi’s alarm went off, shrill and cruel as it dragged him out of his peaceful slumber. Before he could reach to silence it, it shut off, and a pair of lips pressed against his forehead, murmuring a good morning. At first it was nice, and he nearly gave into the temptation to melt into the handsome man in his bed; then he remembered who it was and why he was there. Now, Izumi wasn’t necessarily displeased to wake up next to him, but he was almost positive he’d asked to be alone when he woke up. (Almost positive was an understatement; of all the memorable things he’d done the night before, asking to be left alone was one of the clearest.)_

_“What’re you still doing here?” He yawned, shoving off of Kaoru and rolling onto his back, savoring the tugging of sore muscles. That’d teach him to get attached to someone again._

_“C’mon, baby,” Kaoru’s hands were warm on his face, affectionate and loving when they stroked downward to trace over skin imprinted by the folds in the sheets, “You know I love seeing you when I wake up.”_

_“Cut it out.” Swatting at his hands, Izumi rolled again until he was on the cold side of the bed, face pressed into a pillow that smelled like shampoo that wasn’t his. His heart squeezed in his chest like it was wrapped in barbed wire._

_“You hate waking up alone, I figured you’d be more pissed if I actually left.” Kaoru didn’t follow him that time, but the bedsprings shifted underneath him._

_He had a point, Izumi supposed, but he wasn’t too keen on being disobeyed, so he kept that to himself. When his hand crept along the body heat of his mattress, Kaoru didn’t say anything, just interlocked their fingers and tugged him closer. It shouldn’t have felt like such a reprieve to roll right back into Kaoru’s clutches. It was disgusting how fast the wing beats of his heart were in the stillness of Izumi’s bedroom, pulse racing repulsively through thin soft skin._

_Kaoru’s arms tightened around him, a desperate vice that refused to budge for anything, not even a fresh breath of air. As if Izumi would slip away and board his plane at the mere thought of any weakness. As if Izumi wanted to leave him in the first place._

_“I hate you,” Izumi sniffled, jaw clenched and muscles tense with the effort to hold his ground, only to release as soon as he felt a tear roll off Kaoru’s eyelashes. He was strong willed, but not strong enough to resist the urge, the need, to soothe him._

_"Give me a little more time.” Kaoru was shaking slightly under Izumi’s touch, face buried in the crook of his neck, “Just let me feel you again.”_

_“Don’t pretend like this isn’t hard on me too.” Izumi detangled Kaoru’s hair with his fingers, just so they’d have something to do._

_“I know,” Kaoru’s breath was as hot as it was the night before, though this time it did nothing but sink Izumi’s heart, “You’re better at this than I am, though.”_

_“That’s only because I have practice, idiot.” Hopefully, the name at the end would mask how tightly he was clinging to Kaoru. If it was up to Izumi, maybe he’d be able to miss his plane and find himself in the curve of Kaoru’s shoulder until they grew bored of one another. But it wasn’t, the money was too good in Italy to stay in Japan, so matter what fine pearls he’d managed to discover by prying past the annoying parts of his lover. “Let this be practice for you… Next time someone tells you to fuck off, just do it.”_

_With a sigh of ‘that’s just too sad, Senacchi,’ Kaoru withdrew from Izumi’s neck to kiss him on the mouth. It wasn’t the most heated, or even pleasant, kiss they’d ever shared, but it held a certain urgency that kept Izumi from pulling away. Sure, they both had morning breath, but Kaoru held him as gently as he’d hold a fallen butterfly. The tenderness wasn’t even close to being new, but he was going to miss it as soon as Kaoru let go of him. Instead of following his gut and moving away to get ready, Izumi merely pulled away to get closer, folding into the curve of Kaoru’s body. They couldn’t stay in bed much longer. Might as well make it count._

\---

Izumi woke up to an empty bed and the smell of something cooking. At first he was confused, lapsing into the state of mind he had when Kaoru wasn’t around. Distant humming broke him out of his confusion though, floating down the hall from his kitchen over the quiet sizzle of a frying pan. Kaoru’s side of the bed was messily made, pillow still warm from a long night of rest. For a moment, Izumi just basked in the fading warmth on the other side of his bed, brushing his fingers over the pillowcase and smiling to himself. Were he any more desperate for a reminder that Kaoru was home, he’d smell the pillowcase, hoping for a whiff of mint shampoo that somehow always smelled better on Kaoru.

It was way too cold without him, though, so Izumi kicked his blankets away in favor of shuffling down the hallway. Kaoru was in front of the stove, hair tied into an illegal ponytail on the back of his head. On the stove, in what was probably the only pan he owned at the moment, a pancake sizzled and hissed as it cooked. On the bright side, it was the best smelling food that’d graced Izumi’s apartment in ages. His mouth watered just being in the same room. On the not so bright side, he couldn’t eat it. That being said, his diet would not (read: could not) stop him from taking pictures of Kaoru’s masterful breakfast to stare at while he pushed his lunch around his plate. That had to wait until it was finished, though, and Izumi was in desperate need of a warm body to leech on.

“Morning.” He mumbled into the back of Kaoru’s shirt, folding his hands over his stomach. 

“Hey, handsome,” Kaoru flipped the pancake he was making, glancing over his shoulder, “How’d you sleep?”

“Fine.” Izumi moved to watch him make breakfast from under his arm, shuffling closer, “You left me in there.”

“Sorry, baby,” He wasn’t. “It was supposed to be breakfast in bed.”

“Mmm,” Izumi stifled a yawn, lifting one cold foot to press it against Kaoru’s exposed ankle, “Can’t eat much today.”

“I know.” Kaoru didn’t flinch, terribly used to cold hands and feet, “We can just share my plate today and you can gorge yourself on my cooking tomorrow.”

Izumi hummed again, tightening his arms around Kaoru’s waist, face nestled into the back of his shirt again. They stayed that way for a few more minutes, just long enough for Kaoru to finish his stack of pancakes. Hesitantly, Izumi released him so he could prepare them for eating, taking the minute of free time to take his meds, leaving the bottle on its cap once shut as a reminder to take them again with dinner. The smell of maple syrup made him wrinkle his nose, opening his mouth to warn Kaoru that any syrup in his pantry was far too old to eat.

“No need to worry,” Kaoru beat him to it, “I brought my own this time.”

“Gross.” Izumi accepted the extended bite anyways, pretending it didn’t taste like heaven on a fork. 

Kaoru rolled his eyes, taking back his fork so he could dig into his hotcakes with the passion of a man possessed. Izumi sat beside him to spectate while he weighed the pros and cons of foregoing breakfast entirely so he could eat dinner with less guilt. When the toaster popped up a slice of whole wheat toast, his decision was made for him. He thought about bringing it with him to get dressed, but his feet took him back to the table, feet overlapping with Kaoru’s under the table. 

Breakfast couldn’t last forever, though Izumi did stick around to watch Kaoru wash his dishes and clean up the kitchen. He’d definitely be late to work, but it didn’t matter that much to him. What was one late day when he worked tirelessly between both of his jobs? No one would have the guts to complain about his punctuality, he decided while getting dressed.

“Don’t go insane while I’m gone.” Izumi sat back down on his bed to put on his socks, listening to Kaoru’s nails tap against his phone screen. 

“I’ll do my best.” Kaoru reached for him, only managing to catch his hand, “What time are you coming home?”

“Little before dinner, as long as no one fucks up the shoots.” Izumi lied back for a second, smiling faintly when Kaoru kissed the back of his hand.

“Well, tell them I said not to,” He shuffled under the sheets, kissing all the way to Izumi’s wrist, “Today’s a special day.”

“ _My_ special day, so don’t get any ideas.” Izumi’s phone buzzed, telling him he had to leave, “I’ll be home later, love you.”

“Love you, too,” Kaoru kissed his hand one last time before returning to his side of the bed, reducing himself to a lump in the blankets.

It was hard to leave such an inviting sight, but Izumi wasn't so easily tempted to skip work. Maybe if he didn't have the next day off, but November 2nd never meant enough to him to validate shirking his responsibilities. He settled for a sharp smack to where he assumed Kaoru's thigh was under the covers, using all of his abdominal muscles to sit back up and get off his bed. For the first time in a very long time, he couldn’t wait to go home after a long day’s work.

\---

A spread of (low carb) shrimp pasta laid across Izumi’s coffee table, sight pulled together by the nearly empty bottle of white wine he’d brought home from work that evening. Apparently, word had gotten around that the ever icy and unbothered Sena Izumi had a gentleman visitor. The wine was an incredibly expensive birthday gift that doubled as a congratulatory present, not that Izumi cared in the slightest. It paired nicely with the dinner Kaoru had made, that’s what mattered. His wine glasses were finally getting some use, too.

The last time he’d used them, it was right after he moved into his current apartment; Kaoru had built all of his furniture for him, and in return Izumi made breakfast for dinner. Red wine didn’t go well with eggs and pancakes, but their elation at being done moving in overshadowed that. The best of times, he found, were spent not caring about anything but how he felt. If being with Kaoru had taught him anything, it was that.

“At least you weren’t enough of an asshole to propose to me on my birthday.” Izumi announced upon noticing the clock read 00:23, accepting his refilled glass and lifting it to his lips. As he tipped it back, however, something inside clinked against the side.

“You’re right,” Kaoru shifted off the couch to kneel next to Izumi, “I’m not enough of an asshole to propose on your birthday.” 

Izumi stared down into his glass, as if the ring sitting at the bottom would disappear if he looked away, “You…” 

“But I _am_ enough of one to do it on mine.” Izumi really did look away that time, squinting at the clock to double check that it was, in fact, past midnight.

The soap opera played on, and he was stuck in place, lower lip trembling and heart beating like the wings of a hummingbird. He had thought extensively about marrying Kaoru, even thought about proposing himself the last few times they’d seen each other. But buying a ring was troubling and they lived so far apart. He wanted to, though. He wanted to marry Kaoru more than he’d ever wanted anything in his entire life; he wanted to wake up every morning in his husband’s arms and know that even though he had to go home to Japan, they were still legally bound to come back together. Having a metaphorical thread tying them together sounded like something out of his greatest fantasies, but he couldn’t have it. Something about it being in writing was both terrifying and soothing, though, so all he did about it was ask around as many times as it took to get his hands on the wedding photoshoot Kaoru participated in during their last year at Yumenosaki.

“Izumi?” The use of his given name in full made his stomach twist.

“Are you sure?” He asked, voice weak and pathetic.

“I’m positive.” Kaoru wormed his way between Izumi’s knees, looping his arms around his waist and pulling him forward, “I can’t think of anyone I’d rather spend the rest of my life loving.”

Sniffling, Izumi melted against him, clinging to his glass like it was the only thing keeping him from falling apart. Kaoru listened to his heart pound, rubbing circles at the small of his back, “You don’t have to answer me yet.” 

A lot of words stuck to Izumi’s tongue, most not kind or coherent enough to be spoken. He thought about how stupid Kaoru was to try and marry someone that had trouble reciprocating spoken ‘I love you’s. He thought about how badly he ached for permanence and belonging, but grappled with aversion to it once it was in reach. He thought about how there were so many people that could love Kaoru better than him, more openly than him, more selflessly than him; he thought about how no one could love Kaoru _more_ than him. He thought about how selfish it’d be to hold his own feelings of self loathing and desire to punish his old ways over Kaoru’s clear love for him. 

“Okay.” Izumi leaned until he could put his glass on the coffee table, no doubt spilling some in the process.

“Hm?” Kaoru moved back some, hands sliding from Izumi’s back to his sides, still rubbing soothingly.

“I’m-” He choked for a second, watching a tear dangle from his eyelashes in his peripheral vision, “I’m saying yes.”

“Yes?” Either Kaoru was playing dumb, or he really thought Izumi was looking to wait even longer than he already had.

“Yes, I’ll marry you.” He wiped his eyes, “Dumbass, of course I’ll marry you. I thought you’d never ask.”

Kaoru surged up, kissing his mouth so hard their teeth clacked together and their lips barely even touched. Then, as if realizing it wouldn’t work out like that, he simply pushed his face into Izumi’s shoulder, absolutely giddy. Something that sounded suspiciously like ‘thank you’ was muffled by his shirt, and he was half tempted to make Kaoru repeat himself. Shaking shoulders indicated that they were both the same amount of emotional, and while  
Izumi was feeling sweet after such a monumental change in their relationship... Enough was enough, if Kaoru wanted to cry, he could at least be open about it.

“Stop crying, stupid,” Izumi pushed his face away, unable to pretend he was annoyed.

“Sorry, baby,” Kaoru kissed the center of his palm, “I just can’t wait to marry you.”

**Author's Note:**

> hiiii thank you to eve for inspiring this sorry its almost a year late


End file.
